Amazing racehorse names which never made it

February 22, 2011 | by | 10 Comments

Arfur Foulkesaycke, OilBeefHooked and Chit Hot are among a catalogue of hilarious proposed racehorse names banned by the sport’s censors, it emerged today.

The never-before-seen list features a string of names which if passed would have been a race commentator’s worst nightmare.

Luckily they all fell at the first hurdle, meaning the horses, riders and pundits were saved the embarrassment of the weird, wonderful and sometimes shocking monikers.

The horses thunder towards a jump at the Grand National

The horses thunder towards a jump at the Grand National – the highlight of the racing calendar

Others which never made it past the post include Choke the Chicken, Curl One Off and Hugh G Dildeaux.

Norfolk Enchants and Hoof Hearted, names England star Wayne Rooney once joked about giving to two of his horses, also raised eyebrows with the sport’s governing body.

And Pee Nesenvy, Spank The Monkey also pulled up lame as did Ivanna Threesome, Jack Schitt and Anita B Jaynow.

A spokesman for horseracing website lovetheraces.com, said: ”Some owners choose names that have some personal connection – a location such as Thurlestone Rock, a family member such as Sheila’s Star or a fun name they like such as No Complaining.

”Others, including the Queen, like to create a clever word play on the sire and dam.

”Part of the fun of racehorse ownership is naming your nag and our study shows that some owners have a very mischievous sense of humour.

”But do pity the racecourse commentator.

”He might be calling a race at Newton Abbot in deepest Devon or at Perth in the Highlands of Scotland but his words and these dubious names are heard by thousands of betting shop punters.”

All horse owners who wish their animals to compete must apply to register their names with the British Horseracing Authority – formerly the Jockey Club – the official administrator of the sport.

On the current register there are around 250,000 names which cover horses that are either currently in training or raced during the last 20 years.

Famous racehorse names are never allowed to be used twice so there will never be another Shergar, Red Rum or Arkle despite the fact that they are all deceased.

There are also some strict rules relating to equine names.

No name can contain more than 18 letters including spaces, names aren’t allowed whose pronunciation or spelling is obscene or insulting – including spoonerisms – or rude foreign words.

The name of a living person can only be used with their permission. Brand names are only allowed with the brand owner’s permission.

Margaret Thatcher famously refused Clement Freud’s request to name a horse after her so he called it ‘Weareagrandmother’.

Notorious persons or organisations such as Al-Qaeda are also frowned upon, although Hamas ran in Britain a few years ago.

A handful of cheeky horse owners around the world have succeeded in registering risque names abroad after being turned down in this country.

The owners of a horse called Big Tits first tried to register it in the UK, but instead registered in France, where the phrase means nothing, after it was vetoed in this country.

Other double entrendre-packed titles have slipped through the net in this country including Geespot, Foxy Fanny and Finmental.

Who Gives A Donald, Passing Wind and Dirty Sanchez – slang for a vile sex act – have also been granted permission to race.

Muff Diver, Peony’s Envy, Wear The Fox Hat, Sofa Can Fast and Hoof Hearted also race or have raced either in Britain or around the world.

Wayne Rooney’s scouse pals Robbie Fowler and Steve McManaman were famously given the green light to call one of their nags ‘Another Horse’.

The name caused much hilarity when commentators screamed: ”And Another Horse is in the lead”.

BANNED NAMES

Chit Hot
Chocolate Starfish
Choke the Chicken
Curl One Off
Dick Face
Harry Azzol
Harry Balls
Harry Monk
Hugh G Dildeaux
Hugh G Rection
Hugh Gass Kisser
Hugh Gorgy
Hugh Janus
Ima Hoare
Ima Goodlay
Ima P Ness
Ima Rapist
Ivanna Humpalot
Ivanna Threesome
Ivanna Tinkle
Major B Oner
Norfolk Enchants
OilBeefHooked
Pee Nesenvy
Willie Be Hardigan
Spank The Monkey
The Fokker
The Gobbler
Jack Schitt
Amanda Mount
Anita B Jaynow
Anita Bath
Anita Longerman
Anita Mandelay
Anna Reksik
Annie Position
Annie Rection
Are Soles to You
Arfur Foulkesaycke
Ben Derhover
Ben Timover
Betty Swallocks

ACTUAL NAMES

Slippery Dick
Fuchu
Little Knickers
Noble Locks
Big Tits
Finmental
Who Gives A Donald
Passing Wind
Hoof Hearted
Geespot
Dirty Sanchez
Foxy Fanny
Muff Diver
Peony’s Envy
Wear The Fox Hat
Sofa Can Fast

X-RATED BANNED NAMES

Anna Bortion
Betty Phuckzer
Ben N Syder
Ben Jackinoff
Cockney Wanker
Cunnilingus
Cunning Stunt
Cupid Stunt
Curley Pubes
Dick Bush
Dick Cheese
Dick Cumming
Dick Cumoff
Dick Fizintite
Dick Hertz
Dick Hungwell
Dick Gozinya
Dick Lipps
Dick N Cider
Harry Balzitch
Harry Scrote
Hucking Fell
Ima Homeau
Ima Reillycumming
Jack Inoff
Jack Me Off
Neil Anblomee
Neil Enlick
Neil Ensuck
Ohowie Dickter
Pee Ness
Willie Fisterbottom
Anita B Lojob
Anita Blackman
Anita Dick
Anita Hardcock
Anita Pussy
Anita Hanjaab
Anita Hoare
Anita Dickinme

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Comments (10)

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  1. Doug Schmidt says:

    Coming around the final turn, it’s Betty Phuckzer with Slippery Dick and Dirty Sanchez, Geespot followed by Wear The Fox Hat …. Little Knickers falling off fast.

  2. Anonymous says:

    a weird names for the horse and ain’t funny

    many horse have a funny names, and don’t offend others for understanding it.

    how about thet try to name the horse with other animal names
    examples(crocodile,eagle,the dog,the cat & the rat)

  3. Anonymous says:

    what kind of owner would give their pets that kind of name? hmm i hope they would just treat there pets like humans cause it would be very bad if they will be named by there parents with those names as well.

  4. Anonymous says:

    why don’t they try use their name’s for the horse or a name of the people they love so much…

  5. Mrwhughes says:

    How about “My Face” for the name of a racehorse.  Then we can watch and listen to all those posh twats at Ascot shout “Come on, My Face”.

  6. Anonymous says:

    i know what i call them when they don’t win

  7. Anonymous says:

    Used to know one called “Selosra” in the senventies….(read it backwards!)

  8. Anonymous says:

    There is a horse racing in Perth Western Australia named, registered and racing, the name
    “MICKY DRIPPEN”

  9. Anonymous says:

    FOR ALL OF YOU THAT ARE OFFENDED. THEY ARE NOT REAL HORSES YOU IDIOTS. THEY ARE HORSES FOR THE NIGHT AT THE RACES WHICH IS A FUNDRAISER FOR DIFFERENT ORGANIZATIONS. REALLY, YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET A LIFE……LOL ALTHOUGH READING YOUR COMMENTS WAS PRETTY ENTERTAINING…..

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