Lincolnshire Police unveil blues and twos tractor….slow moving villans beware!

September 2, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A rural police force has unveiled its new squad car – a blue and yellow TRACTOR which boasts a top speed of 25mph and comes complete with a flashing blue light. The John Deere 6630 has been liveried in police stripes and badges and modified with a blue light taken from a standard police van….

Rise of the MAMIL, scientists study the new generation of Middle Aged Men In Lycra

September 2, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Britain’s fitness and environmentally-aware cyclists have spawned a new generation of sportsman called Mamil – or middle aged men in lycra. Boffins believe the success of competitive cyclists Mark Cavendish at this year’s Tour De France and Sir Chris Hoy – who scooped three gold medals in Beijing 2008 – are also responsible. University researchers…

Lewis where’s the car? Investigation as Morse car nicked

September 2, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Police are hunting thieves who stole a classic car – the same model and colour as driven by Inspector Morse. The maroon-coloured Mark II Jaguar was taken from its owner at their home in Buckfastleigh, Devon. Officers say the car is the exact model and colour of the vehicle driven by John Thaw in the…

Gang attack firefighters – with their own hose

September 2, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Police are hunting a gang of teenage yobs who attacked firefighters – with their WATER HOSES. They were responding to a barn fire near Market Harborough, Leics., when they were set upon by 15 youths who pelted them with stones. During the attack the gang got hold of several high-pressure hoses and turned them against…

The ultimate emergency call – A £1 red phone box fitted with a heart defibrillator

August 31, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A disused BT phone box is to become a life-saving Tardis – by being fitted with a heart defibrillator. The traditional red booth in the village of Chedworth, Glos., is to house an emergency medical kit which jump-starts the heart during cardiac arrest. Parish leaders came up with the idea because ambulances take so long…

Massive moths hatch at UK butterfly sanctuary

August 31, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Staff at a butterfly sanctuary were celebrating after nine of the world’s largest moths hatched. The giant Atlas moths – which boast an impressive 10in to 12in (25cm to 30cm) wingspan – hatched from their chrysalises at Berkeley Castle Butterfly House in Gloucestershire. Atlas moths are named after the intricate, colourful map-like patterns on their…

Diabetic DJ locked overnight in theme park

August 27, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Theme park staff were forced to apologise after a diabetic was locked in the car park over night – for seven HOURS. Angry Alan Carr, 23, was forced to spend the night in the back of his van after the security gates were locked before he left. Alan, a mobile disk jockey, had been working…

Super Mario Bros named greatest computer game

August 27, 2010 | by | 2 Comments

Super Mario Bros. was today voted the Greatest Computer Game Ever. The classic platform game was first released in 1985 and has since become one of the biggest selling ever with more than 40 million copies flying off the shelves worldwide. In the game Italian brothers Mario and Luigi – now recognised the world over…

American footballer fined $25k for tweeting during match

August 26, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

An American footballer is feeling like a right twit after he was fined $25,000 – for TWEETING during a match. Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Ochocinco tweeted twice during a pre-season victory over the Philadelphia Eagles, including one to complain about getting floored by a rival player. The 32-year-old told his 1.1 million followers: ”Man I’m…

Yoga teacher sexually assaulted female clients

August 25, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A yoga teacher instructed his female clients to adopt compromising positions before sexually assaulting them in their own homes, a court heard. Kyno Hunt, 32, attacked three different women at their homes after encouraging them to crouch in suggestive positions. One of the women was attacked by Hunt after he had asked her to crouch…

Wheelie bin cat woman Mary Bale: first picture

August 25, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

This is the first picture of Mary Bale – the woman caught on camera dropping a helpless cat into a wheelie bin. Camera crews swarmed round the 45-year-old bank worker as she walked through a residential street in Coventry. The sickening video shows the callous woman cooly coax four-year-old Lola over to her before calmly…

One-legged flasher escapes jail

August 25, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A one-legged flasher who exposed himself to teenage girls from the window of his home has escaped jail, it emerged today. Pervert Graham Shepherd, 48, was arrested after he repeatedly exposed himself and performed sex acts in front of teenage girls walking past his home. When interviewed by police Shepherd claimed he could not have…

Former landlady pays tribute to murdered spy

August 25, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

The former landlady of murdered MI6 spook Gareth Williams yesterday paid tribute to the ”mild-mannered” intelligent cycling fanatic who ”wouldn’t hurt a fly”. Tragic Gareth rented a flat in Cheltenham, Glos., from retired office worker Jenny Elliott, 71, from the late 90’s to just over a year ago when he moved to London. Gareth, who…

Benefit sponger caught out – cutting down tree with chainsaw

August 24, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A benefits sponger who has claimed more than £220,000 in disability handouts over 11 YEARS was finally caught – cutting down a tree with a CHAINSAW. Shameless Lee Nutt, 41, has coined in a staggering £225,799.20 since he left his job as a bath paint-sprayer in 1999. The lay-about father-of-three is on one of the…

Solicitor charged with battery following row at hospital

August 23, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A solicitor who was visiting his frail elderly mother in hospital has been charged with battery and a public order offence after a row with staff, it emerged today. Semi-retired John Blanning, 50, became embroiled in a row over the treatment of his 89-year-old mother Joan at the Royal United Hospital in Bath in June….

Man suffers horrific burns after returning to house fire for trousers

August 23, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A father who escaped from a house fire suffered horrific burns after he ran back into his blazing home – to fetch a pair of TROUSERS. The man awoke to find his property on fire in the early hours of Saturday and managed to escape the inferno with five members of his family. But he…

Strict curry house lends trousers to diners

August 23, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

An upmarket curry house has found a novel way to enforce its strict no-shorts dress code – by lending out trousers to diners. Jaipur restaurant in Milton Keynes, Beds., has a smart dress code that does not permit diners wearing tracksuits, trainers, shorts and vests. But underdressed customers can borrow a pair of freshly laundered…