It’s a well hung parliament – Clegg and Cameron are poles ahead

April 30, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Rival party leaders Nick Clegg and David Cameron are the most well-hung candidates in the election debate – with six and three-quarter-inch poles in their pants, according to the nation’s women.

Researchers asked 4,000 housewives to guess the manhood size of a string of Britain’s political giants.

Clegg and Cameron came out neck-and-neck at 6.75 inches – an impressive 2.25 inches bigger than gaffe-prone PM Gordon Brown, who limped home in 13th place.

Tony Blair came third, with many of the nation’s women believing the former PM packs a pleasing six-inch majority.

Blair’s ex-PR guru Alastair Campbell came fourth with 5.75 inches.

BNP racist Nick Griffin is far from a big noise in the trousers stakes, with women believing he only carries a 2.5 inch snake in his trousers.

A spokesman for online no-strings dating site for adults F-Buddy.co.uk, which commissioned the study said: ”We wanted to have a bit of fun and poll women to find out who they thought had the biggest manhood in politics.

”I know it is a close call between Clegg and Cameron in the opinion polls but we now know who’s won the sausage swinging competition.

”If our survey’s anything to go by, then it’s going to be a well-hung parliament.

”They’re both packing a decent punch in their pants but it will be interesting to see if either leader manages to swing the majority of the vote next week.

”But Brown has received another blow to his election campaign after coming thirteenth with a below average of four and a half inches.”

Brown’s disastrous ranking in the poll came just three days after he was caught describing pensioner Gillian Duffy a ‘bigoted women’ after talking with her in Rochdale.

Making up the rest of the top ten was Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families Ed Balls in fifth place and Lib Dem’s Vince Cable sixth – both boasting 5.5 inch todgers.

Labour’s David Miliband and Liam Fox measured in at 5.3 inches while Conservative’s old boy Kenneth Clarke and Iain Duncan Smith completed the top ten – both are perceived to have five inches tucked away.

The survey found one in ten are more likely to vote for a politician who was well-endowed in the trouser department.

More than half said having a big package would make MPs more confident, while a quarter said they would be sexier.

And a third said they wouldn’t trust a politician who had a small lunchbox.

INCHES
1. Nick Clegg        6.75
2. David Cameron                    6.75
3. Tony Blair        6
4. Alastair Campbell    5.75
5. Ed Balls        5.5
6. Vince Cable        5.5
7. David Miliband                    5.3
8. Liam Fox        5.3
9. Kenneth Clarke                    5
10. Iain Duncan Smith    5
11. Charles Kennedy    4.75
12. William Hague                    4.5
13. Gordon Brown                    4.5
14. Peter Mandelson    4.5
15. George Osborne    4.3
16. Nigel Farage                    4.3
17. Alistair Darling                    4
18. Lord Pearson                    3.75
19. John Prescott                    3
20. Nick Griffin                       2.5

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