A woman who fell in love with a disabled man says they’re constantly questioned about their inter-abled relationship – by kids and strangers who mistake her for his nurse.
Elizabeth Wampler, 60, met her now-husband, Stephen, 56, in his van in 1994 because she was friends with his driver. The couple tied the knot the next year, before going on to have two children – Charlotte, 25, and Joe, 24.
Stephen – who was born with cerebral palsy – was already a wheelchair when they met.
But he’s refused to let it hold him back and even because he was the first person with cerebral palsy to climb El Capitan – the world’s largest rock in Yosemite National Park in September 2010.
Elizabeth says the pair have faced their fair share of ignorance online – but she notes that people have “never” been disrespectful.
“We’re void of anyone being critical,” she said. “It’s the weirdest thing.”
She says they refuse to let the ignorance bother them – instead choosing to educate others on cerebral palsy instead.
The pair say their relationship is built on communication and teamwork which has been the cornerstone of their 32-year marriage – and say they are proof that love knows no boundaries.
They have since founded the Stephen J Wampler Foundation – which provides outdoor educational experiences to physically disabled kids across America for no cost.
Dad-of-two Stephen, who is a retired environmental engineer, from San Diego, California, US, said: “I really don’t see a problem.”
“Me neither,” Elizabeth added. “Maybe it was difficult 32 years ago when I was getting to know him and learning the nuances of his disability.
“But since then, it’s not an issue in our life or relationship at all. It’s completely seamless.”
Elizabeth says they get a “fair amount” of questions about sex.
“People are super bold about that,” she said. “It’s shocking and funny at the same time. Our kids came into the world the old-fashioned way.”
The couple developed a “rhythm” that balances Stephen’s physical limitations with Elizabeth’s support.
“If he can do something, he does it. If he can’t, I do it,” Elizabeth said.
“It’s not even something we need to discuss – we haven’t in decades. We’re a well-oiled machine at this point.”
Stephen added: “I don’t cook.”
Elizabeth credits Stephen’s disability with shaping their relationship for the better.
She said: “Maybe it started us off on the right track because it forced us to really communicate and set a precedent for what our relationship needed to look like.
“There are no negatives I can think of.”
Elizabeth reflects on her early misconceptions about disability.
“When I met him, I had never known anybody with a disability, and I was very intimidated and awkward,” she said.
“I thought he didn’t have a friend in the world and was lonely – but none of that was true.”
She recalls an epiphany that changed everything.
“I didn’t truly get to know Stephen until I got all my curiosity about his disabilities answered,” Elizabeth said.
One of the questions she asked Stephen was, “What happened?”
“I got stuck in my mom’s birth canal and lost oxygen,” Stephen replied.
Elizabeth also asked him what his life expectancy was – which turns out to be typical for a man – and why he had a speech impediment.
“The muscles in the back of his tongue are affected,” she explained. “It has nothing to do with brain function.
“I also asked him if he was in therapy, if he was in pain, if he was sad, and if he went to the doctor,” Elizabeth recalled. “He answered ‘no’ to all of those questions.
“I instantaneously stopped feeling sorry for him and dove into having a relationship with him.
“Only then could I really get down to the business of knowing him as a person, and his disability went away,” she said.
The Wamplers understand their dynamic may seem surprising to others.
“People’s curiosity about inter-abled relationships is human nature, and their questions don’t bother us,” Elizabeth said.
“People ask her in private if he’s feeling ok, they don’t know if he’s sick and assume he has ALS,” she added. “They ask ‘what happened?’ – and wonder if he was in an accident.
“Little kids are the funniest. They have no filters and blatantly come out and ask, ‘What’s wrong with you? Why do you talk funny?’
“The poor moms and dads are dreading it. We just explain that he has cerebral palsy and was stuck in his mom’s birth canal.
“People get very, very personal with very fast,” Elizabeth noted. “They go there, if you will, and they want to know how our kids came to be. And I don’t know why. Even though it’s down to the nitty gritty, we keep it G rated.
“We’ve always been an open book, and Stephen has this incredible way of addressing people’s curiosity with grace and honesty,” Elizabeth said.
“It’s part of why people have fallen in love with him on social media.”
Their openness has contributed to their online success as advocates for disability awareness.
“We have a joyful, optimistic approach to disability that seems to be hitting a nerve,” Elizabeth said.
“Through our social media, people can learn about disability in a way that answers their questions without putting Stephen on the spot.
“It’s helped so many people feel more comfortable around those with disabilities.”
The couple’s TikTok and Instagram accounts have attracted nearly a million followers and the attention of Good Morning America, Chipotle, and YouTuber David Dobrik.
But their mission extends far beyond social media.
The duo founded Camp Wamp through their foundation – a space in Soda Springs where kids can experience a “typical summer camp” to find strength, independence, and community.
Kids at the camp canoe, do arts and crafts, dance, sleep on cots outside and participate in a skit night.
Stephen’s own transformative experience as a child at camp inspired him to create it.
“As an eight-year-old, I was put on a bus by my parents and sent out to the middle of nowhere,” he said.
“I was scared to go, but I loved my experience. It changed my life forever.”
Diagnosed with cerebral palsy after losing oxygen at birth, Stephen initially pursued a degree in environmental engineering before realizing his true calling.
“I don’t want to be an environmental engineer. I want to send kids to camp because it changed me so much,” he said.
Camp Wamp has been life-changing for many children.
“They arrive at camp one kind of kid – apprehensive and crying because they miss their mom and dad – and they leave in tears again because they don’t want to go home,” Elizabeth said.
“They love what they’ve found in themselves during camp.”
Many former campers have gone on to college, started careers, bought homes, and even started families. “They’re our triumph stories,” Elizabeth said.
In addition to their work at Camp Wamp, Stephen has accomplished feats that inspire campers and adults alike.
One of his most awe-inspiring achievements is climbing El Capitan, the world’s largest rock face in Yosemite National Park.
“He became the only man in the world with cerebral palsy to summit El Capitan,” Elizabeth said.
“It’s twice the height of the Empire State Building, and he really has the use of one limb, and he still did that.
“He didn’t want to just speak in clichés like ‘you can do anything’ – so instead, he put it into action.”
The climb required 20,000 pull-ups over six days and became the subject of the documentary Wampler’s Ascent – which is available on Amazon Prime and has won 38 awards at film festivals worldwide.
Reflecting on their journey, Elizabeth said: “Camp Wamp brings something to life for these kids that acknowledges the spark they have in themselves and challenges them to apply it to their lives.
“They go home changed forever.”
